Many people experience carer burnout and it is not something to ever be ashamed about speaking on. Caring for a loved one is invaluable work, but has many emotional and physical demands. In the UK, millions of people dedicate their lives to this role, often without adequate support or recognition. Recent data shows that 50% of us will have to provide care before the age of fifty and, over time, the relentless demands can take a significant toll, leading to a state of total exhaustion.
In this blog, we’ll go over its most common symptoms, ways to alleviate them and how they could be folded into an existing care plan.
It's more than stress: a state of physical exhaustion
Stress is a feeling of being overwhelmed; it's the pressure that comes with a busy day. Burnout, on the other hand, is a state of complete emotional, mental, and physical emptiness. It’s when you have nothing left to give.
Carer burnout, also known as carer fatigue or carer breakdown, is a genuine health condition. It’s a common and understandable response to the constant pressure, emotional strain, and physical demands of caring for someone who is unwell, disabled, or elderly.
Let us be very clear: If you are experiencing this, you are not alone, and your feelings are valid.
How serious is it? Left unaddressed, carer burnout can have severe long-term health impacts. It’s a legitimate health concern recognised by the NHS. It can increase your risk of developing chronic physical ailments, weaken your immune system, and significantly heighten the risk of depression and anxiety. That is why it is crucial to recognise, no amount of coffee or ‘powering through’ will help to stop the feeling.
The main signs of carer burnout: A checklist
Burnout doesn't happen overnight. It’s a gradual decline that can be hard to spot in yourself. Look out for these key signs:
Emotional signs
Often feeling helpless or hopeless about your situation: These can include thoughts such as “things will never get better" or "I always feel overwhelmed."
Increased irritability or a tendency to overreact to small things: You might blow up or break down at things that previously never bothered you.
Compassion Fatigue: You might find yourself feeling emotionally numb or distant from the person you care for. It’s a painful experience that often comes with a heavy burden of guilt. Please know that having negative feelings doesn't make you a cruel or uncaring person; it simply means you have reached your emotional limit.
Physical symptoms and mental symptoms
Complete exhaustion (Chronic fatigue) that isn't solved by one good night’s sleep. You may feel as if you are acting on ‘auto-pilot’ throughout the day as well. This often goes hand in hand with disturbed sleep patterns, such as insomnia or sleeping too much. There isn
t 'enough sleep' to fix this in the short term.
Significant changes in your appetite: This can lead to weight gain or loss.
New or worsening physical and mental health problems: such as frequent headaches or stomach issues. In the UK, around 48% of current carers have experienced a new or worsening mental or physical health condition since taking on caring responsibilities, and over half face disadvantages in managing their own health.
Behavioural symptoms
Withdrawing from loved ones and social life: You might find yourself pulling away from friends and family, either because of stress, you're too exhausted to socialise or because you feel a low mood has made you too irritable to be around others. This can lead to a deepening sense of isolation, making the situation feel even more overwhelming.
Losing interest in hobbies or activities: Activities that once brought you joy and relaxation—like reading, gardening, or a favourite TV show—may no longer hold your attention. This loss of interest is a significant sign that your emotional and mental reserves are completely depleted.
Neglecting your own basic needs: When you're running on empty, it's easy to stop prioritising your own health. You may skip meals, struggle to maintain personal hygiene, or neglect doctor’s appointments because the energy required feels like too much to handle. This self-neglect is a clear indicator that your own well-being has been pushed to the bottom of the list.
What does carer burnout feel like?
The lived experience of carer burnout goes beyond a simple checklist. It's the feeling of bumping along the bottom, of being constantly and completely overwhelmed. It's the sensation of your mind going mentally blank when someone asks you a simple question, or the feeling of being emotionally numb and disconnected.
One of the most painful aspects of burnout is the guilt. You may feel guilty for being angry or resentful, for not wanting to be there, or for feeling detached from the person you love. These feelings are a sign that you are overwhelmed, not that you are a bad person.
There are ways to manage:
How to deal with carer burnout: A 10-step recovery plan
Help and support is available.
1. Acknowledge the problem: The crucial first step is to admit to yourself that you are burnt out. You cannot begin to recover until you face the reality of your situation.
2. Talk to your GP: Book an appointment with your GP as soon as possible. They can help you address the physical and mental health impacts of burnout. Your GP can provide a sick note for work if necessary and refer you to counselling or other support services.
3. Get a Carer's Assessment: This is your official gateway to support from your local council. A Carer's Assessment is a legal right and a critical tool to help you identify your needs and access practical support. (Read our full Carer’s Assessment guide here)
4. Seek urgent respite: You need a break. Respite care, whether for a few hours a week or a longer period, provides a vital opportunity to rest and recharge. (Read our respite care guide)
5. Set healthy boundaries: Learn to say "no" to unreasonable requests and be specific when asking for help. Instead of "Can you help?" try "Can you come over for an hour on Saturday so I can go for a walk?"
6. Prioritise one small health goal: Don't try to overhaul your life. Instead, focus on one tiny, achievable health goal. It could be a 15-minute walk each day, drinking an extra glass of water, or going to bed 30 minutes earlier.
7. Try "nourishing" micro-breaks: Even 15 minutes can make a difference. Use this time for a hobby, listening to music, or practising mindfulness.
8. Find your community: Connecting with other carers who understand your experience can be incredibly validating. Look for a local support group or an online forum.
9. Use a Helpline: Sometimes, you just need to talk to someone. Helplines offer a confidential space to offload your feelings.
Carers UK: 0808 808 7777 (Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm)
Rethink Mental Illness: 0808 801 0525
Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7)
NHS: 0300 123 1053 (Carers Direct helpline)
10. Accept Your Feelings (Without Guilt): It’s okay to feel angry, frustrated, or resentful. These are normal human emotions in an abnormal situation. Allow yourself to feel them and let them go without judgement.
When Things Don't Get Better: Is It Time to Change the Care Plan?
This is perhaps the hardest question for any carer to ask: "When should I 'give up'?" It’s crucial to reframe this. This is not "giving up"; it's simply changing the plan. Care needs can evolve beyond what one person can realistically and safely provide at home. This is not a personal failure; it is a sign that the current situation has become unsustainable.
Signs That the Current Situation is Unsustainable:
Your mental or physical health is severely at risk, and you are consistently ill.
You are unable to provide safe care for the person's escalating needs (this is a common challenge with advanced dementia).
Your relationships with other family members are breaking down completely.
There is no realistic prospect of the situation improving with the current level of support.
What Are the Alternatives? If you reach this point, it’s time to explore other options. This could involve increased professional home care, assisted living, or, in more complex cases, residential or nursing care. Making a change is an act of love—it ensures that both you and the person you care for can live safely and with dignity.
A simpler way to take a break
Before you reach a crisis point, taking a preventative, restorative break is crucial (and we can help!.) For carers who need a simple way to access that space, Carefree offers a direct path to recharging. Caring for someone can be a full-time job, leaving little time for yourself. At Carefree, we believe a break should be more than just a change of scenery—it should be a chance to truly recharge and reconnect with who you are.
We transform vacant hotel rooms into vital, one-to-two-night breaks for carers, complete with breakfast. Our mission is simple: to give you the space to feel like a person again, not just a carer. Our breaks have a powerful impact. In fact, 95% of carers who've used our service reported that their well-being improved, and 86% said they felt better able to cope with their caring responsibilities.
Joining is easy. Simply click the banner below to get started. After your registration has been confirmed you will be able to book a hotel stay from our list of UK-wide options. City break? Countryside retreat? A visit to your hometown? We’ve got you covered.
Frequently asked questions about carer burnout
What's the difference between carer burnout and compassion fatigue?
Think of compassion fatigue as a key symptom of burnout, rather than a separate condition. Carer burnout is a state of complete physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion caused by the demands of caring. Compassion fatigue, on the other hand, is the emotional and psychological residue of caring for someone who is suffering. It is the feeling of being emotionally numb or detached from the person you care for, and it is a painful but common sign that your emotional reserves are completely depleted.
How long does it take to recover from carer burnout?
There is no set timeline for recovery, as it depends on the individual and the severity of the burnout. For some, a few days of respite and a commitment to self-care can make a significant difference. For others, particularly those who have been caring for many years, a longer period of recovery may be needed, involving professional support, counselling, or a change in the caregiving situation. The key is to be patient with yourself and to view recovery as a process, not a race.
When should I seek medical attention? Can I get signed off work with carer burnout?
If the stress of your caring role is significantly impacting your mental or physical health to the point where you cannot perform your job, you should seek medical attention and your GP can sign you off of work. It's crucial to be open and honest with your doctor about how you are feeling. They will recognise carer burnout as a legitimate health condition and can provide a sick note for your employer, as well as a referral to other support services.
How do I ask for help when I feel like a burden?
Feeling like a burden is a common symptom of burnout, but it's important to remember that asking for help is an act of strength, not weakness. Try to be specific with your requests. Instead of saying, "I need help," try something like, "Could you stay with Mum for an hour on Tuesday so I can go to the shop?" Framing your requests in a clear, specific way can make it easier for others to say yes. You can also seek support through a Carer's Assessment, which can connect you with professional and community resources.
What support is available if I have no family to help?
Even without a family support network, you are not alone in your caregiving responsibilities. There are numerous organisations and services designed to help. The first step is to get a Carer's Assessment from your local council. This will identify your needs and can lead to things like council-funded respite care or professional home help. You can also join a local or online carer support group to connect with others in similar situations. Helplines like Carers UK and the Samaritans are available to provide immediate emotional support whenever you need it.
